one trip round the sun

the first of many naps....

sullivan and i getting acquainted

the first picture of sullivan

taken today. happy birthday little man! (he likes to clap when he stands).

oh man.

this time last year sullivan was only a few minutes old. i'm having a hard time wrapping my head around how fast time slips by. it feels like yesterday, and yet also like a thousand years ago, that we brought sullivan home from the hospital. how did this happen? my tiny little baby has morphed into a happy, busy, active toddler, seemingly overnight. it is all so cliche, but he is growing up so fast. Here are some of the high and low points of the past year:

high:

labor and birth: i know it might sound weird, but labor was such an amazing experience. blindingly painful mind you, but amazing to see and feel my body in its most primal, instinctive form. at that moment i was no different from anyone woman who has ever given birth, ever. i thought about anne boleyn being on bedrest for six months or however long it was, that woman in 'pillars of the earth,' marie antoinette, my mother, my grandmothers, etc. the details vary, but it is all essentially the same.

and once i had the epidural, the rest was really, really easy. i relaxed and watched the contractions on the monitor. tried to take a nap. chatted with ryan and the doctors and nurses. i always imagined there would be this urgency, panic. that i'd be in pain, that i'd have to push, NOW, get this kid out of me NOW. instead, it was all very leisurely, which suited me fine. after i'd been there a while and dilating nicely, the doctor checked me and said i was at 9 1/2, he had a c-section to do at 8:30 so he thought i could start pushing at 9. i never thought i'd be given a time for that. and that is exactly what happened. we'd watch the contraction monitor and as soon as one was coming, i would do two sets of 10 second pushes. then we'd break and wait for the next contraction. ryan and i chatted with our nurse, sarah who was from north dakota, or watched a snippet of sports center. one moment i will never forget is the doctor coming in to see me do a few pushes watching sports center with ryan while we waited for a contraction. after a lot of pushing that felt to me was going nowhere only because i couldn't feel anything, the doctor was summoned and i had only a few more pushes to go. one moment sully was in my belly, the next moment he was a new person in the room! and i didn't cry, which was surprising because any sort of extreme emotion always makes me cry. i just remember smiles and happiness and awe; awe that i gave birth, awe that he was there, looking at me with his eyes that i MADE, awe.

low*:

breastfeeding: in the hospital, breastfeeding was great, he latched on, he ate a lot and i had a ton of nurses helping me. Then, my milk came in. read this post for details.

and then, we he was a month old, after i thought i had all my issues ironed out, i got a blocked duct, which was almost more painful than the raw nipples.

i put an asterisk by this 'low' entry because, while it was terrible, i also fought through it and ended up nursing him for almost a year. i'm pretty proud of that accomplishment.

high:

joy. and not just the joy he brings to ryan and i, but the joy i see in our parents, sisters brothers, cousins, etc. the joy he brings perfect strangers when we are out and about. and the joy that exudes from him. he has his moments, but he is one of the happiest babies i have ever known. smiles and laughs and happy babble fill the house all the time.

low:

the fear. SIDS. choking. falling. swine flu. black widows. car accidents. baby crazed maniacs. peanut/bee/other crazy allergies. autism. raccoon roundworm. i have to stop listing them because just the thought is getting my mind on a path i do not want to go down. but what i mean is this: being a parent is terrifying, and it only gets worse in terms of things to worry about. i am learning to balance this fears and worries, but it is hard. i see how easy it is to become a helicopter parent and i am determined not to do that.

high:

being a kid again. ryan is excited about the train set and dump truck that our neighbor gave us, and i am excited for legoland and trips to the beach to build sandcastles. being able to do fun kid things and see the world through a child's eyes is pretty awesome. i love taking sully to the zoo and watching him check out all the animals, and i know that will only get cooler as he gets older and understands a little more of what is going on. to be a parent is to be a child again knowing that these moments are fleeting and precious.

happy birthday to sully, and i am looking forward to seeing what the next year brings!

another milestone

as of today, sullivan is weaned! i've been gradually working in some formula feedings for a few weeks, in preparation for a trip we are taking (we are leaving sullivan with the grandparents) to the central california coast later this month, and i had just, within the last few days, gotten down to one feeding a day. then today, when we were getting ready for his nap, i thought i might as well just make a sippy cup and see if he'll take it. i thought that he might be attached to that feeding because he almost always falls asleep while he is eating, but he happily took the sippy cup and drank it right down. then he sat quietly on my lap (a rarity) while i read him the poem the cremation of sam mcgee. before i finished, i looked down and he was fast asleep.

i am a little sad, and i do feel a twinge of guilt, but i am definitely happy to have a little more freedom, and i am elated to pack my pump away for a while! i am also pretty proud of myself; after all my trials and tribulations, i made it (almost) a year! not many people can say that, and i am so happy to have given that gift to sullivan.

and since i feel a post is incomplete without some photos, here are a few i took on the last day of july. those pajamas are for you, pappy!

mammoth 2009

last week was the annual woodward family vacation to mammoth. usually we are only able to make it for the tail end of the week, but this year we drove up on tuesday night. It was awesome to have the extra few days up there, but packing was crazy! and now that we have sullivan...well, it was ridiculous the amount of crap we brought.

Here is ryan getting ready to pack the cooler:

the first day we were there the boys went hiking and i took a nap. sullivan loves the backpack! also a fan of drinking out of a water bottle.

i had to get a shot of the insane amount of camo going on here. oh wait, you can't see who is in the photo, right? because of all the camo. well, that is sully, uncle brett, and aidan.

grandma ginni got the boys matching outfits that they wore most of the day until, amazingly, sullivan and not aidan had a diaper explosion that necessitated an entire outfit change. we got some great photos though. :)

next year, mammoth will be CRAZINESS. a two-year-old and a one-year-old will be tearing out the place. i can't wait!

early career possibilities?

The owner of the bakery by our house couldn't get enough of sully when we went in there last time. he said that when sully is a little bigger he can have a job stocking the bottom shelves. i told him that if he needed any shelves...UNstocked, then look no further! sully is a pro. he used to exclusively work with books, but he has recently expanded his services to diapers as well.

pool fun!

our neighbor jim gave us his kids' old turtle sandbox, which is the exact sandbox i remember having when i was little. we have been using it as a pool this summer, and it is the perfect way for sully to burn a little energy before his afternoon nap. he loves splashing in the water and will only get out willingly when his little jaw starts to shake.

sullivan and his treasures

lately, sullivan has been finding things he likes and toting them around. it is ALWAYS a non-toy item. today it was the house phone.

the tv remote. he carried this one around for at least an hour and had a small meltdown when i had to take it away for bathtime.

he LOVES the drumsticks, which are of course the items with the highest potential for injury. now he knows where i've hidden them (which i suppose means that they aren't really hidden at all), and tries to get at them every chance he gets.

other items he has toted around that i have yet to photograph: ryan's shoe horn, a bottle of baby lotion, my cell phone (he holds it like a sandwich), and a tube of baby sunscreen. there's a whole box of toys begging for this attention...

colorado trip

after a long illness, my grandmother passed away and so sully and i (and later, ryan) flew out to colorado to be with the family. i had forgotten how much i love colorado in the summer; the heat, the afternoon thunderstorms, the cottonwoods in their full, green splendor.

sully proved to exactly what the doctor ordered to raise everyone's spirits. he is pure joy, packaged in the body of an active, wiggly, chatty 10-month old baby.


my parents bought him some toys, but of course his favorite thing was tupperware.

ryan and i were thinking he wouldn't be as opposed to my parents grass because it is a much softer variety than what we had in our yard, but no, he wanted as little of his body touching it as possible.

we lowered the temperature in the hot tub to 93 degrees and sullivan loved it. he sat in the little turtle innertube and kicked his way around, and loved splashing. he could have stayed in there forever and was MAD when it was time to get out.

all though the purpose for our trip was sad, it turned out to be a really lovely visit. hopefully we can get out to colorado in the summer more often. :)